Starting a Clean/Healthy Diet…And Failing At It

Confession time: this whole transitioning to a cleaner/healthier diet has not gone well so far. I mean, I didn’t expect it to go flawlessly, but I thought it might go better than it has. I plan on following it through, though, it’s just a bit of a bumpier ride than I was hoping for.

One reason that I struggle with these dietary changes is that I am a huge comfort eater. Like a lot of people, potatoes and sugar make up a large proportion of my preferred comfort eating menu. When I’m feeling down because of *waves hand*, I can ingest way too many calories and no amount of neighborhood walks will make up for that. In addition to eating when things are stressful or going badly, I also like to eat when things are good. So that’s a definite struggle, but I’ve noticed that it has gotten easier to moderate over the past few weeks.

I used to eat a massive sugary snack late at night, almost every night. Mug brownies were a frequent flyer in that snack time, and so was icing. I’ve already started trying to shift away from that, and I’m doing much better. I’ll reach for a packet of hot chocolate instead of several fistfuls of candy or making a bunch of icing to eat. Small wins and all that. Have I lost any weight? Almost certainly not, once I gain the weight it’s very hard for me to lose it again. I won’t know until my next health check-in because weighing myself weekly or daily is too much for me to handle.

On the plus side, I have been eating more vegetables and drinking fruit juice (without HFCS, and in moderate amounts), so that’s a positive change. Not this last weekend, but the one before, we made white chicken chili and I ate that for most of the meals last week along with some dinners of angel hair pasta with butter and mozzarella. We did eat out some, though, so we’ve decided to only eat food from the house since it’s healthier. I’ve also been buying whole foods, eating oatmeal for breakfast, and not replacing the foods I shouldn’t be eating when they run out.

I’m really happy with the small steps that I have been making. I don’t know that I’ll actually lose any weight before the end of the year, just because we’re going into the most stressful part of the year as well as the time of year that contains all the yummiest (and least healthy) foods. However, if I keep making small changes, and being adding exercise into my daily routine, I think I’ll be in a really good place to start 2021 and carry it through to my goal weight.

I think a few healthy people follow this blog – not many, but a few – and honestly, if you have some advice you want to drop below or a post you’ve done that might give me some ideas, please do! I’ve been thinking that I need to go hang out on the weight-loss related subreddits because I am always looking for more advice and in 2020, reddit is as good a place to look as any other.

Final thoughts – I’m glad I’m trying to change my lifestyle instead of just “going on a diet” and cutting calories. I know that I’ll need to do both (and exercise) to reach my goals – not just weight loss, but overall health – I just wish it was easier.


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